Indian Ocean - (WTF? Mess): Somali pirates are maintaining a tense stand-off with US whoreships after ramming an Iranian vessel and seizing its cargo of a crashed UFO.
The downed craft had been seen menacing the Rev Sun Myung Moon's chopper over Thailand earlier this year.
It was then shot down by the Vietnamese Air Force, crashing into the disputed waters of the Dire Straights of Hormuz.
It was then salvaged anonymously and sold on eBay.
Sources at the UN X-Files Commission claim Somalis mercenaries were then hired by US insurance giant AIG which had put a $50 million bounty on the alien craft's safe retrieval.
The pirates were caught on video boarding the MV Pride of the Ayatollahs armed with AK-47s, rocket-propelled grenades, makeshift tasers and copious supplies of tin foil headgear.
"This could have been President Ahmadinejad's very own Roswell incident," an AIG spokesman said today.
But Tehran's Ministry of Purity and Public Relations retorted angrily at the suggestion:
"F***ing lying bastards!"
Condoleezza Rice is foaming at the mouth.