He's a hero to his countrymen, but the first Chinese astronaut to walk in space on behalf of the country of China insists it wasn't a praiseworthy accomplishment.
The unlikely hero claims, "It was all an accident really. The wife insisted I shop around for some uncontaminated milk for the kids, and I suddenly found myself in outer space." Once he was there, he claimed that he just kept going and going, since he's a big fan of one-stop shopping.
He was also delighted to find a new Chinese take-out place, one that accepts coupons from their competitors, so he was able to bring home dinner at a bargain price. He even found a very special toy store. "It's hard to believe," he said, "but the toys in that place are actually untainted by lead! No, I mean it, no lead at all."
His advice to people in New York City, San Francisco, and all cities that feature Chinatowns: "Forget about those poor imitations; come to China, then go up, up, and away to the real deal. Try it, you'll like it!"