KARACHI, Pakistan - Pakastani President Asif Ali Zardari has issued a warning to the United States that it had better stay out of Pakastani territory.
"We are tired of the Americans coming over here and acting like they own the damn place." Zardari explained, "I want to know what makes Bush think that he can just do whatever the friggin' hell he feels like doing. It is getting mighty damn ridiculous and I want this sh*t stopped now. Good grief you'd think that we were Iraq or Afghanistan or New Orleans."
When President Bush heard about Zardari's comments, he immediately called Katie Couric of CBS news and told her, "Howdy girl, you know apparently that 'Pakastani Dude' doesn't realize just who the hell he's dealing with here."
He added, "And if Mr. Zardari doesn't settle his little Pakastani butt down, then I'm afraid that this 'crazy old Texan' is gonna have to bomb the hell out of his weird-shaped looking country. And let me say that when I get through bombing his country, parts of it are gonna end up India, parts are gonna end up in the Arabian Sea, and parts are gonna be strewn all over western China from Tibet to the Hemoglobin Mountains."
Bush paused, grinned, before finally remarking, "I guess old Zardari has forgotten that this 'old Lone Star state coot' is a 'lame duck' president, so does he really, for one second think, that I give a rat's ass about anything."
(EDITOR'S NOTE: President Bush called them the Hemoglobin Mountains, but they're actually the Himalayan Mountains).