Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Space, Chinese, Astronaut

Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for Chinese Astronauts
Lunch Hour in Downtown Donglong

PEKING, China - The Republic of China has just launched a three-man crew into outer space. This space launch is a first for China.

When asked what this very historic event means to the Chinese people President Hu Jintao replied, "It means that we now have three less people in China so we now have a little bit more breathing room for the other 1.3 billion Chinese citizens."

Jintao went on to say, "In the beginning we were busing people up to Mongolia, but they kept coming back."

Noted British author Sir Jonathan Christopher St. Ipswich, who is perhaps the world's foremost authority on Chinese things stated, "With 1.3 billion inhabitants China has 20 percent of the world's population. I will be Emailing President Jintao later today and suggesting what I am calling 'The Sir Jonathan Christopher St. Ipswich Chinese Overpopulation Proposal Doctrine.' The basic concept of this doctrine is not about conception, but about agreeing to launch a three-man (or woman) Chinese crew into outer space every two hours.

St. Ipswich, whose wife is Panamanian, stated, "If my calculations are correct this would mean the population of China would be reduced by 36 every day. That adds up to 252 weekly and 1,080 monthly. The yearly figure would be an astounding 12,960."

(EDITOR'S NOTE - St. Ipswich has written 902 books on China. His most recent has already sold over 400 copies and has been named 'The Number One Chinese Book' by Helsinki's leading newspaper, The Helsinki Morning Flora & Fauna Fun Times. The 199 page book has also won The 2008 Golden Chopstick Literary and Buffet Emperor's Award.

The book which can be purchased at most Panda Express Restaurants is entitled 'The Amazing World of Chinese Checkers, The Game Not The Supermarket Checkout Employees.')

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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