Print this
Topics: Osama Bin Laden

Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for Ossama Declares Victory
Down Sized Foreclosed Find Succor In Parks

From his palatial estate occupying the western part of Pakistan and the Eastern provinces of Afghanistan Ossama bin Laden has declared victory over the Big Devil.

Ossama claimed his two goals of bankrupting and down sizing the democracy previously enjoyed by The Big Devil had been achieved. Ossama saw the collapse of the financial giants of Wall Street and the recent decline of General Motors stock to under 10 dollars a share as proof that the Big Devil was on the ropes.

He noted that Americans once believed General Motors was the bell-weather of their economy and were fond of saying, "What's good for GM is good for the country."

Ossama announced new plans to strip the Big Devil of his remaining assets by drowning him in a sea of debt with higher oil and military costs. He predicted the day of being able to pay for oil with devalued dollars was over and a new bundle currency would arise and replace the dominance of the dollar. He is reported to have dumped is dollar holdings and advised his followers to get out of the dollar as soon as possible.

Ossama went on to describe the down sizing of civil liberties in the United States. He said while he was encouraged by the Patriot Act and the Homeland Insecurity Acts, he believed new moves to remove all restraint from police departments are especially encouraging.

When asked when the war against the Big Devil would end Ossams said he would be satisfied when the United States officially became the United Police States.

Make SAINT PETER II's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

4 8 5 3
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more