Geneva: The Big Bang machine stopped working today after it developed the Blue Screen of Death.
Said Cerns director Professor Wolfgang "Yes we can confirm the Hadron Collider stopped today due to the blue screen of death, a common fault in windows operating system."
When pressed by a reporter as to the rumours of a dodgy copy of windows 98 being to blame, Prof Wolfgang moved quickly to quash the rumours "Absolutely not, we get all our software from torrent sites in Russia, so we know it's legit stuff"
The problem arose when a inexperienced technician decided to install 'Spore' on the system, the new game from Electronic Arts.
Prof wolfgang continued "One of our young technicians was let loose on the machine while we were having a tea break and unbeknown to us, he tried to install a game, not realising that windows 98 and games just don't mix. When that failed, he tried to reboot the machine, but got the blue screen of death. Now we are currently trawling through internet forums to see if anyone else has had the same problem with their Collider"
Luckily for them a young boy walked up and suggested if they turn it off, then on again it might work, which it did.