The vagina of a 5000 year old mummy, just discovered in an overlooked antechamber of King Tutankhamun's tomb, has a fully functional vagina.
Archeologist, Doctor Wendell Waddrippins, a modern day Indiana Jones, announced this amazing discovery.
Apparently, the world famous king, King Tut, prepared for the afterlife by taking a 14-16 year old virgin with him.
Waddrippins was shocked when on opening the hidden chamber he detected a ripe, unmistakable, musky scent.
"At first I thought one of my colleagues in the dig, perhaps in her haste or zealousness had neglected some daily feminine functions. But as I slowly removed the enameled sarcophagus I knew, I just knew what was there."
Ancient Egyptians regularly mummified the bodies of Pharaohs, priests and wealthy citizens and sometimes their slaves, pets and even wives. The process and preparation of the body was to preserve it into their 'afterlife'.
"Obviously, "Twatankhamna" as we have affectionately named the mummy, was to serve her master, at his pleasure in the afterlife." said Waddrippins.
"The preservation actually worked tremendously well, considering the length of time this had been dry. Several simple hot packs, a well needed trim, an ample lathering of a personal lubricant, and the vibrations of a cell phone set the vagina into a yawning or gaping context. Sadly, the hyman was detached in our excitement of the discovery ."
Doctor Waddrippins was asked if it were theoretically possible to get this mummy to be a mommy.
"Unfortunately, Twatankhamna's heart, brain, and internal organs were removed and placed in clay jars to the side of the coffin. Essentially her function in the afterlife was just to 'do him'. Her mouth and tongue didn't quite hold up in preservation after 5000 years, but she does have a semi functional anus. Perhaps a bit chauvinistic but you have to remember the times. But believe me, it is a fully genuine, functional vagina."