OSLO, NORWAY - The leading detective agency in Norway, The Norwegian Wood Detective Agency, is getting ready to break the story that Chinese olympic gold medal winners, He Kexin, and Jiang Yuyuan are not really 16 as they claim to be, but are in actuality, only 4 and 5-years-old respectively.
Norwegian Wood Detective Agency chief special agent in charge of investigative investigations, Aftanposten Norsk, says that he has undisputed evidence that clearly backs up his agency's claim.
Norsk told a reporter for the Oslo Chronicle-Timely-Times, "I have secretly obtained a photograph that was taken at He Kexin's last birthday party at her grandmother's home in Chengdu, China. The photo shows her birthday cake and one can clearly and without any shadow of a doubt see that the cake only has four (4) candles."
Norsk replied, "I have even had the 4 by 5 photo blown up to standard billboard size (at quite an expense) and there is no doubt whatsoever that the cake only has 4 candles on it."
So according to a reliable source the two girls can either mail the gold medals back themselves or else a third party will pick them up and FedEx them to the Beijing Olympic Committee.
In related news, Hillary Clinton was overheard to have said to Bill, while having lunch at The El Ole Ole Ole Toro Loco Mexican Restaurant in Brooklyn, "Gosh, darnit! I can't believe how I came so darn close, Bill pass me the salsa, and please don't ever piss me off okay?"