Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Pope, Pope Benedict, Frog

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

image for Pope Rescinds Remarks About Martin Kippenberger's Frog
"Oh dear Frog!"

This morning, a sheepish Pope, Benedict XVI announced to a gathered audience that he is apologizing for asking an art museum in Northern Italy to remove the display of a frog on a cross that was created by German artist Martin Kippenberger

"We really goofed on this one", a very embarrassed Pope proclaimed. "We had our church historians go through the initial Hebrew of the Dead Sea Scrolls and discovered that the word God was misinterpreted".

"We were not suppose to be worshipping God", the Pope continued. "We were supposed to be worshipping The Frog".

"Many of us believe that much of the bible originated from these Dead Sea scrolls", Benedict continued. "Somehow, someone, somewhere along the way made a mistake in interpreting these. You see, in the original scrolls they refer to worshipping the 'hoppywhoppy' which is Hebrew for frog. Somehow, someone replaced 'hoppywhoppy' with 'goddywhoddy' which is Hebrew for God. When we find out which dead person did this, will promptly excommunicate them from the church".

When asked how this will affect the current state of the church, Benedict responded, "We are going to have to hop-to-it and recall all of our current crosses and literature to reflect what is the true state of Jesus Christ. We need to get everyone to jump out of their current mindset, of everything they have learned about Jesus, and embrace the real truth. It is not as simple as jumping from a lily pad to a log, but it can and has to be done".

"More importantly", he continued, "is that while we may not know the answer as to which came first, the chicken or the egg, we do know that it was the frog that came before the egg as can be seen by Kippenberger's sculpture".

A group of Christian Scholars called "Jesus or get bombed" argued against the Pope's interpretation.

"He did not read the entire Dead Sea scrolls", lamented the group president Tadpole Johnson. "It is only in the early parts of the scrolls that he is a frog because a witch made him that way. After Oprah Winfrey kissed him he became the Jesus that we know today, just a whole darker. We will fight these changes".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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