In an amazing twist of fate Michael "Seinfeld why did it end?" Richards is to wed sultry young soultress Rhianna.
Michael best known for his role as Kramer and shoving forks up the asses of those who do not resemble him stated "She is the best thing that happened to me since Seinfeld and the Masons".
Rhianna obviously head over heels in love with the curly headed nutter giggled and showed us an umbrella.
Close friends of the pair said the pair were "obviously in love" and "very close".
"Even More Friends"
A friend who has known the pair for thirty-five years said "Even though Rhianna is only very young, she obviously knows that she should laugh at all of Michael's jokes"
William J Simmons who attended College with Michael in the 60's added " Michael has had some bad press in the past, but he has put that all behind him and will be happily settling down with the young black lady of his dreams".
"Heroic Brave Feisty Not Racist No More"
In a unrelated incident Britain's Jade Goody watered the garden in her slippers yesterday. Which was "a very funny place" to have a garden we thought.
"Friends of Jade and Dorothy"
Friends of the brave ailing star said she was a little upset hearing of the wedding. A close friend of Ms Goody told us "Jade has had to go and get cancer for the UK press to stop calling her a bigot, while Michael simply marries a young hot famous teenager, ist simply not fair".
"Salt in Wounds and Wiggum Nit-wit"
To add further salt to Ms Goody's Brave wounds,Michael and Rhianna have snubbed the heroic talented celberity and barred her from the Wedding which will take place at Apu's Kwik-e-Mart in the cartoon town of Springfield. Homer Simpson is said to be "delighted". Half-witted pudgy pants Ralph Wiggum is tipped by British Bookies to be the hot favourite for page boy.
"Disgraced Desperate Vile Pop Paedo Glitter"
Pop Paedo Gary Glitter was conspicuously missing from the "star-studded" guest list alongside the Ukele playing, irregular featured, grinning, northern dirty ditty singer George Formby. A close friend of northern George told us yesterday, that the ukele twanging man was "gutted" and "dead".
"O.J Troubled Man With Weak Bowels"
O.J Simpson was in court yesterday and refused to comment on the wedding of the century when we followed him into the bathroom, yesterday. An onlooker at the urinals blasted O.J as "ignorant", "cowardly" and "shifty" for not answering reporters questions while he was on the john.