Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 17 September 2008

image for Sharia Court to Arbitrate Domestic Violence Case Against Mickey Mouse
"This is a fucking joke, right.....??????."

London/The Guardian - Despite the declaration from a Saudi Arabian cleric who said that Mickey Mouse was "one of Satan's Soldiers", Minney and Mickey Mouse agreed to submit their counter claims of domestic abuse to the newly recognized UK Sharia Courts.

Following claims from Sheikh Muhammad Munajid on al-Majd TV that cartoon characters Minney & Mickey, as well as Jerry of "Tom & Jerry" fame were" impure" and should be erased, the couple were willing to place their faith in the impartial tribunal backed by the UK judicial system.

Unfortunately for Minney, a recent convert to the Muslim Faith, after being sold to Mickey in an arranged marriage, she did not know that Muslim women have no status in the Islamic culture.

In a finding written before hearing the case, the Sharia Judge found Minney guilty on all counts:

  • Continued to talk on her cell phone when her husband demanded sex
  • Refused to learn how to program the VCR and to use TIVO
  • Would not pump her own gas and used higher priced Full Serve
  • Hired an Indian to scrub their brick front step and prepare Curry for lunch
  • Became addicted to marmite
  • Was slow in changing the water in the Foot Bath
  • Was delinquent in beating the dust from the Prayer Rug
  • Ate all the cheese in the fridge
  • Used the micro and a tea bag to prepare afternoon tea

The Tribunal regretted that the penalty of DEATH could not be appealed, but that Minney could choose death by lethal injection, stoning, or becoming a martyr by blowing herself up during a local Mouse Meeting with other dissidents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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