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Tuesday, 16 September 2008

image for The Meaning of Life Cracked by e-book Guru

Christine Carter, author of a series of e-books aimed at helping desperate women get laid, has discovered the meaning of life and it can be yours for just $77 dollars a month.

Only last year Carter cracked the secret psychology of all men, much to the frustration of academics all over the world, and now she's figured out the meaning of life too.

Using her trademark gratuitous capital letters format, she issued a press release titled "Are you TRULY READY for the REAL meaning of life?" Seven hundred words further down the page, she'd moved onto her next point.

She isolated ten key questions people tend to have when they ponder the meaning of life and offered a unique, revolutionary solution to each: the relevant programme from her "DO YOU want THE answers?" online course.

If you buy "Why* am I here?" plus "Do I have free will?" then you get "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" for free.

Carter is quite the distinguished academic, claiming to have read "HUNDREDS of books."

An employee of Oxford University Press commented "Over one hundred books? I've never heard anything like it! Most psychologists and philosophers can't manage books, so they just read papers and journals."

One admirer blogged, "Well, if it wasn't going to be Jerry Springer, it had to be Carter."

However the past has seen scepticism regarding the legitimacy of Carter's claims. Her secret psychology of all men has been attacked for its lack of cross cultural validity, failure to recognise individual variation within men, failure to address that not all women want the same things in life, discouraging people from being themselves, claiming to coach "natural attraction", having no empirical basis, making little theoretical sense, failure to recognise English (male) and English (female) as the same language, being sheer codswallop and, for existing.

Her theory on the meaning of life is likely to be no less controversial, with feminist Molly Burnett already offering her opinion that the only big question Carter could ever provide an answer to, is "What is evil?"

However although the programme was launched three months ago, subscribers have yet to receive their meaning of life CD and complimentary credit card application form, despite every customer being charged at least once, leaving the public hanging on the edge of their seats.

Carter remains unavailable for comment until such a time as she returns from a holiday in the Caribbean.

* Overuse of capitals suppressed for the ease of our readers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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