God, long-mute on many issues, recently broke His silence to give an interview with Charlie Gibson.
In a deep and cavernous tone (and apparently nursing a hangover) the Almighty specifically addressed the phrase 'God made dirt, dirt don't hurt':
"I never said that!" He proclaimed. "What really irks me is where people come up with these ideas."
He added, "There are lots of things in dirt that will probably kill you. Who honestly thinks I have that amount of time built into my day to just sit around and screen every little thing that exists in common dirt? The laboratory facilities needed for that type of operation are one issue. But believe me Charlie, finding good help these days is an entirely bigger issue."