Written by The Scorpion
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Saturday, 13 September 2008

Washington DC: On Friday 12 September 2008 at exactly 3pm (eastern standard time) Barack Obama announced in a press conference at the Washington democratic headquarters that, "he would oppose any surge in the polls supporting Republican Presidential nominee John McCain or Vice President nominee Sarah Palin." In fact the Democratic Presidential hopeful stated he, "would cast his vote against it".

The announcement came as a brazen surprise, momentarily stunning the press. It was a good minute before one brave journalist from the New York Times politely leaned forward, "I'm sorry and hate to impose but if I might ask a question…?"

Obama jutted out his chin, further than usual in an apparent gesture of "go ahead" and the journalist proceeded. "Sir, are you confirming that you disapprove of the swing in the polls to the Rebublicans??"

"Yes, I am" Obama declared, "further I state that this surge in the polls toward the Republicans is going to be a failure. I voted against the surge in Iraq and I will vote against this surge in popularity for the Republicans.

At this point the press itself "surged" forward, with cameras flashing, bombarding the presidential hopeful with hurried questions. Private security guards and Secret Service agents held back the crowd as Obama called for calm. "People, people" he called to the crowd. "I'm against surges of any kind and I expect you as journalists and Americans to do the same" and eventually order was restored.

The press roundly agreed they felt inspired, nodding their heads in unison and one by one took turns in delivering their questions. The next question asked was, "In what way are you intending to vote against this McCain/Palin surge? I mean Sir, is there some sort of bill proposed?

Obama stated, "First I understand your concern, but let me be clear, that I support "change" in regards to this surge and any other surge, no matter how successful and I will vote against them as I voted against the surge in Iraq. 'Change' is something that we as American's can believe in".

The next journalist asked, "is there however, any specific legislation proposed against the McCain/Palin surge?"

Obama stated, "I'm glad…I'm glad your fired up, but I have said I believe in this country, that we can change and that this surge in the polls is going to do nothing less than damage the democratic parties' chances of getting into the Whitehouse. The surge will be a failure for the democratic party. Next?"

The next question asked was, "So….your saying there IS some specific bill proposed?

Obama responded, "Look, I don't know anything about any bills or legislation but I do know all these surges and talk of surges are nothing but bad, bad news for the democratic party. Please just focus on change. Now gentlemen …oops and ladies… I gotta go do some campaigning."

Obama disappeared out the back as the press huddled around their micro recorders, notepads and reached for their cell phones.

The Scorpion
Reporting from Washington DC

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