Sarah Palin, 'hot' VP canidate for the Republican Party, has secretly signed a one-year contract with the $1.7 billion bedding giant Sleepytime of Trinity, North Carolina.
This action is perfectly legal according to Professor Jonas D. Trampolene, professor of constitutional law at the University School of Law in Durham, North Carolina.
"I have checked our most grandiose and slightly wordy document of our fumbling fathers, I mean the U.S. Constitution, and nowhere does it mention mattress, box spring, bed frame, or headboard." Said the octagenarian constitutional expert.
Recall, that it was Professor Trampolene who determined that it was legal to sell Nixon masks during the crook's Presidency. So the sweet 'barracuda' from the land of the Eskimos is home free.
Well, John McCain is very concerned with this monkey wrench thrown into the fine machinery he has built. He has talked with Palin and she will not flex, citing this is her "big chance should the Dems take the election." If Obama wins, she will go back to a nothing and couldn't bear it after all the hoopla. She claims that now she's getting attention, unlike what she gets from Todd, who smells like rotting salmon one day and used, filthy oil the next!
She anticipates filming would occur quickly in campaign cities on the stump. Ms. Palin will receive $17 million from one of the Big 3 bedding companies, Sleepytime, for her work in 7 commercials with the money going to her favorite charity, The Moose Hunters Lodge No. 3 of Wasilla , Washingtion, which will go to buy state-of-the-art snowmachines, moose pheremonic postioning systems, expert target hit rifles (ETHR) for a moose kill everytime, and the complete rights to the planned filming of the famous Wasilla legend, 'I'm a Ready To Nail Me A Moose,' probably going to film and star Arnold Schwarzenegger as 'Moose Killer Matt,' when on his next 2-week vacation. It's low buget and will co-star star Angelina Jolie, as a moose hunter out to avenge the death of her mail carrier from a whack from the antlers of a giant wild moose. The man was almost demoositated, as they say up North.
The themes for the 7 ads, to be shot from October through December, 2008, win or lose the Oval Office, have been generously provided by Sleepytime, the major competitor to the bedding leader Sleep-O-Matic. The latter believes the ploy won't work. Here's what Sleepytime gave us under the sheets:
"You'll make the right political and love choice on a Sleepytime...McCain and Palin, of course! Oh, in case you're wondering, we just run together, but don't sleep together...right, Johnnie boy!"
"I Make Babies, Not War, On a Sleepytime!"
"Release Your Sexual Frustrations on a Sleepytime!"
"When arriving home, just where do you think Todd finds me waiting? Hint: [hushed voice]...only on a Sleepytime!"
"S and S, Sleepytime and Sex...that says it all!"
"Proper ladies become whores on a Sleepytime, so hubbies, never wander!"
"I'm Pro for Creation with my god-man on a King-sized Sleepytime."
Although McCain reluctantly agreed, Rick Davis, his Campaign Manager said, he himself will study the Constitution with Henry Kissinger to first see if this activity is allowed by the U.S. Constitution and, second, if allowed, how to stop it asap.
c 2008 Mattress and Box Spring Daily