Written by rajijajuice
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Topics: Sex, Pregnancy

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

image for Compulsory a-sexual drug to be introduced for mothers-to-be
"But I don't want to be the mummy!"

A new drug has been developed by GayEric Inc. which transforms the gender of a foetus from male or female to a-sexual, essentially causing the baby to be born sexless.

From 2009 all mothers-to-be will be legally required to take the drug, known as Cocklosstamide, as government officials feel that babies being born either male or female could cause offence to people who find this division of humanity sexist and unfair.

A spokeswoman for the Department of Health said "We feel that the time has come to take steps to prevent sexual prejudice from occurring in future generations. Cocklosstamide is a genetic breakthrough and will provide a quick and pain free way to eradicate sexual discrimination lawsuits from our society and stop those bloody equal rights marches from interrupting our parliamentary social evenings of light entertainment and competitive jousting".

Previous drug trials brought about mixed results including turning the foetus green and making it look like a foot, however GayEric promise that this version of Cocklosstamide is infallible and will have no adverse side effects. Although they do admit that the drug may induce nausea, vomiting, casual diarrhoea and a fondness for progressive jazz. It wasn't specified whether this would occur in the baby or the mother.

It was unclear as to how future generations would reproduce if everyone was the same sex, however this statement from high-flying contract cost accountant Andrew Porterhouse helps to clear this up:

"Reproduction will occur when 2 humanoids decide to have a child. They will then choose which one of them is to get pregnant and start the mating ritual - the non-child carrying partner will sit down on a chair and the child bearer will squat down on a mahogany table of between 0.65 and 1.3ft.

"The non-child bearing partner will then sit underneath the squatted partner and pour Lea & Perrins over their right knee whilst the child bearer sings Hotel California by the Eagles. Insemination is now complete. Sexual intercourse will be replaced by Bargain Hunt"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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