Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 6 September 2008

image for Porn/Sex Industry Feeling The Pinch
Would you lay these two off?

The latest industry to sttart feeling the pinch of the Global Credit Crunch is the one you would have least expected, the one that you would never have dreamed of, the one you prayed wouldn't suffer - PORN!

Yes, even porn has 'highs' and 'lows', and currently the industry is definitely in a bit of a rut. Retailers of filth say that sales of all merchandise, including DVDs, clothing, Bondage accessories, fetishwear, Riding Crops and restraining gear, is at an all-time low.

Jenny Bigtits, owner of the Agnes Stoops To Please 'shop' in Soho, London, said:

"We used to have 1000 customers a day through the doors. Now there's barely more than 700. Takings are down, and I'm having to work longer hours just to make up the shortfall.

'Make up the shortfall' is porn industry slang, but I don't know what for.

Miss Bigtits even said she has had to lay-off six of her backroom staff.

"I just feel so sorry for the girls. Things have just got so tight. All we can hope for is that Mr Brown pulls his finger out, and there is a sudden upturn in the market."

That's another euphemism.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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