Harry Dick, blind boy born to a dwarf, transvestite, one-legged father and an eczyma ridden, hump-backed, jail-brid father (not a typo) has been suspended from his Special School for the Blind for turning up to his Parentcraft lesson wearing banana yellow trousers instead of the standared grey trousers.
This was the actual letter received by Harry's parents:
Dear Mr and Mr (not a typo) Dick,
It is my unfortunate task to inform you that your son Harry Dick has deliberately made a mockery out out the rules and standards of this school. Thus he is to be suspended for the duration of a week and a quater.
Harry obviously lacks the moral and emotional guidance needed at home, so I am providing such for him in my school. I also feel it is innapropriate for Harry to have two daddys because he gets beat up every day at school for this reason.
Later that day, the school received a long distance call from Kiri Kiri Nation Security Prison in Nigeria were the other Mr Dick is currently incarcerated. The eczyma ridden, hump-backed, jail-brid father told the school that he was going to contact his lawyer, but when asked who his lawyer was, there was an eire silence. Mr Dick is now facing murder allegations.
The Dicks are currently refusing to speak to the media (don't they all).