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Saturday, 6 September 2008

image for Sex Scandal Erupts Over McCain-Palin Tongue Kissing And Ass Hugging
Lieberman said it was a harmless mutual thank you and that Mr. McCain did not have a hardon

Well, we could have told you, "I told you so!" So. we'll say it now. "I told you so!"

So, here it is in all its breadth of titillation. After John McCain had delivered his acceptance speech last night in St. Paul as the Republican Party's candidate for President there was the usual, private backstage celebration with the champagne bottles poppin' in every direction. Rick Davis, McCain's Campaign Manager, feeling his oats and also abysmally poetic, saying that, "The McCain-Palin ticket cannot be beat! Now, we'll see some real heat, because this ticket has some real man meat!"

After about about an hour of celebrating, with everybody a bit loaded and all talking at one time, McCain and Palin shouted to excuse themselves. They went to an adjoining room to just have some time together to thank each other for a job well done and to discuss the upcoming week on the stump. The Party festivities were finally over and it was now time for business with the election only 60 days away.

They were gone for over an hour, at which time, Cindy McCain, a bit tipsy from too much champagne, went next door to see how things were going. Well, she saw that they were doing just fine, but got more than she had expected. Cindy just stood there, speechless, as she saw McCain and Palin in a hot-pressed lovers' embrace. McCain's and Palin's red-hot set of kissers could not be seen, as the two had become one at the lips, while their intermingling tongues were doing the twists and turns of lovers in heat. Not only that, their bodies were rubbing against each other's, while man and woman were playing cup-ass, giving each other a most erotic buttock massage!

Cindy screamed, which brought guests running, but she slammed the door on them. Still over the top, Cindy screamed at John, "How could you, John?" McCain responded, "Pumpkin, we were only wrappiing up after getting our business out of the way and were about to rejoin the party. But, we just looked at each other and had no other way to say thanks. And, I was suddenly consumed by Sarah's enthusiasm and she with mine, so we each gave the other a thank you kiss. And it was nothing. See, no boner! Cindy, you know when I'm into it, I still bone up fast and it goes down slowly. Here's the proof, dear. Just look and feel"

In the meantime, Sarah had slithered out the door while wiping off her smudged lipstick, lest hubby should go ballistic. It's a little-known fact that Palin has a father-figure complex and, to her, McCain is a gift sent from Heaven. Do we not dish the dirt or what!

Cindy was livid and told John to get another hotel room for the night. She went back to the now on-edge, cooled off "celebrating" guests and did not say a word. She just sat down and stared.

But, Joe Lieberman was so concerned that he went to the very same room of the incident to find out what had happened, all the while thinking, "There goes the election!"

McCain explained all to Lieberman. Then, in total desperation, Lieberman continued, "John, how could you," exclaimed Lieberman, the Democrat turned Independent and literally McCain's closest ally? "Joe, it was innocent...no sex, although you know I'd give Sarah a toss if she came on to me. You know me Joe. And, I had no boner." Said Connecticut's favorite son, "We're now all in deep shit, John. It's getting out. Cindy is yapping away. You know she had warned you about a split ticket, but you gave in to poon. Nam all over again!"

Cindy, in the meantime, was telling the whole shebang to Blitzer, O'Reilly and others who were graciously invited to the private party. Blitzer commented, "Didn't know the alta cocka [Yiddish: old man] had it in him." To which O'Reilly challeged Blitzer and claimed, "So Wolf, my liberal friend... think we Republicans can't get a rise in the polls? You watch. This, too, shall pass, and now Americans will see that this 72-year old fart will serve his full term. Palin will have her shot in 2012!"

After continued discussions with sweat just pouring down McCain's face during strategizing about how to handle the biggest scandal to hit D.C. in as long as anybody can remember, Todd, Palin's, husband opened the door, scowled and then slammed the door, cursing in fisherman's talk, "damned baggots," as he walked the plank back to the assembled group party group less Joe and John.

Yes, this election has been unique in the history of the Presidency. An election that ended with no erection. Or, are those still to come?

story by Roland T. 'Buzz' Willis

© 2008 Washington Dirt

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