Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Trains, argentina

Friday, 5 September 2008

image for Argentina Declares War On Railways
These trains escaped damage

Thousands of people took the streets in Argentina yesterday, and a state of war was announced by commuters who attacked and killed a train in Merlo station, in the west of the capital, Buenos Aires.

The attackers, who were annoyed at the lateness of dilapidated trains, suddenly burst onto the tracks throwing rocks, stones, pebbles and any other variant of 'mineral pieces of the Earth's crust' you'd care to mention.

The object of their fury was an old passenger train which has stood motionless for the last 40 years, waiting, as it has been, to be scrapped. Windows were broken, seats ripped out, and pieces of wood snapped in half, in what was the worst raliway violence in more than half a century.

The protestors moved about the station, randomly attacking other trains, and laughing, and the Argentine State Railway Board later confirmed that 67 members of their rolling stock were dead, with dozens more damaged.

At nearby Castelar, another angry mob overturned a ticket office, with the occupant still inside eating a corned beef sandwich. Argentina produces three-quarters of the world's corned beef, and the ticket-man reminded the mob of this.

Alas, it was all in vain; the ticket office was wrecked.

Last night, a semblance of order was restored, but a Buenos Aires police spokesman said there had been extensive damage to several trains, which would almost certainly result in more severe delays over the next few years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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