Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Language

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

image for Old Adages "Totally Preposterous"
Be realistic!

mighty -adj(-ier, -iest)1 powerful, strong. 2 massive, bulky.3 colloq.great, considerable. -adv.colloq.very (mighty difficult).n[Old English: related to MIGHT]

A University professor has challenged the old adage that "the pen is mightier than the sword", and claimed that there may be hundreds of other such anomalies in the English language.

Professor Harry Pedant, of Warwick, told anyone who would listen:

"It's obvious that a pen cannot be mightier than a sword! A sword is a great big metal thing that knights and soldiers used for chopping and cutting! A pen is a tiny little writing instrument, that could be of absolutely no military use whatsoever, unless at close quarters in hand-to-hand combat."

Another silly saying that the professor didn't like, was "it's raining cats and dogs".

"Have you ever heard of anything quite so implausible?" he asked. "I just don't know where all these stories come from! It's preposterous!"

But longtime Shrewsbury resident Trevor Mittens told TheSpoof.com:

"I was out in a storm of Afghan Hounds one day. It was awful."

When Professor Pedant was told of Mr Mittens' claim, he said:

"That's absolutely ridiculous! The poor chap must be insane!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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