Written by Kent Pete
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Wednesday, 27 August 2008

image for Ladies and Gentlemen : We got him!
Wanted to experiment with the triangle formation this season.

Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted man, was arrested yesterday 10 years after he was first indicted by the United States for conspiracy to commit Acts of Terrorism.

The 51-year-old was wanted in connection with the August 7th 1998 bombing of the United States embassies in Dar Es Salaam in Tanzania and in Nairobi, Kenya. These attacks killed over 200 people. In addition Bin Laden was a suspect in many other terrorist atrocities most notably the 9/11 attack on the World trade centre, New York.

It was revealed yesterday that Bin Laden had been living within the United Kingdom assuming the identity of Steve Coppell, the well respected manager of Reading Football Club, since around November 2002. Further he had managed to avoid detection by clever use of make up and by perfecting a monotone lancastrian accent.

MI6 are attempting to unravel the shadowy support network that enabled the head of Al Qaeda to assume a false name and evade capture for more than five years.

The news has sparked outrage within the footballing world with many Reading fans refusing to renew their season tickets. Ron Pritchard , a spokesman for the supporters club said last night, "Surely when we appointed Mr Coppell back in October 2003 security checks would have been done. Did they not take fingerprints? I am not too sure how many more body blows this club can take. First we get relegated from the premiership. We then lose our top striker Dave Kitson to Stoke and now we find out that our manager for the past four seasons is number one on the FBI's most wanted list. We have Shrewsbury away in a friendly next weekend. To be honest I don't know if I can be arsed".

The arrest took place yesterday as armed police surrounded the Reading Arborfield Training Ground. An insider told our reporter earlier today, "It was pandemonium. Steve had just finished what he used to call the 'infidel 4-2 drill' and all of a sudden 10 armed gun men had him face down on the penalty spot. This kind of thing hasn't happened in football since Cloughie was sacked as manager of Leeds in the mid 1970's".

Osama has not yet spoken but it is believed he had planned on an experimental 'Triangle formation' to get Reading back into the Premiership this season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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