The title of 'happiest place on earth' has been awarded to Denmark, a country which gets its name from the ancient 'Dark Men' and in recent years has been vilified for it's unruly cartoonists. Its reputation for jollity and fun on the world stage is second to none.
To see if this accolade was justified, we went in search of some Danes and found just one, living in a cave near Newcastle. Thud Hendersen is 52 years old and a more miserable git we've yet to meet. When we asked him what he made of his fellow countrymen's capacity to constantly look on the bright side, he replied "What bright side? We'll only have it for the year before the bloody Swedes take the crown, just wait. Who cares anyway? You're standing on my favourite place."
He may of course have had a point. Not only have Leicester University researchers painstakingly identified Denmark as a place but they suggest that Sweden may well be in the running for 'most jealous nation' and that Great Britain may even end up being nominated as 'least interested'.
France is understood to be funding this critical research on the basis that it gets to be 'most important.'