Today, a new charity was launched to provide rice for Cambodia, and its organisers cleverly called it Rice For Cambodia.
The charity aims to encourage Cambodians to grow and harvest rice, and then send it to America and Australia, where Americans and Australians can then buy it and send it back to Cambodia for the people there to eat. Spokesman Paddy Field said: 'For too long Cambodians have suffered by simply eating their rice, now thanks to Rice For Cambodia they can watch the rice fly all around the world at huge expense, before it returns home for dinner, with a few bottles of duty free whisky and a sun tan. And my $125,000 salary and luxury Manhattan office will also help hungry Cambodians.'
But former US Secretary for State Henry Kissinger denied that America had deliberately bombed thousands of Cambodian rice fields in the 1970s, to starve the people there. 'I deny eet', he said, trying not to raise his arm in a fascist salute, 'now please goes away. Rice For Cambodia is a just cause, as long as zere's no pinko commies working for eet, otherwise eet's B-52 party time again!' And President George 'Dumberthanagrainofrice' Bush added: 'The Cambozolans need American and Austrian help. Heck, if I can fly thousands of miles so I can get a decent chicken karma and ricicles then we must let no stoner be upturned in our quest for a just rice, a fair and peaceful price, at a fair and decent rice, which would be rather nice. No ice thanks, Laurelai. Where is Condi, anyways?'
Current US Secretary for State Condoleezza Rice was at home, reading the newspapers and flipping through the charity adverts in them, including Guiness For Ireland, Whisky For Scotland, Lederhosen Und Swastikeinen Fur Deutschland, Fromages Pour La France, and of course Bob Geldof's charity African Dictator Aid. The coal delivery train is leaving for Newcastle in 20 minutes.