Written by Monkey Woods

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Wednesday, 20 August 2008

image for Gary Glitter Flees To Hong Kong For Olympic Equestrian Final

Gary Glitter, the world's most famous paedophile, flew fleeing into Hong Kong today for Thursday's Olympic Equestrian Individual Jumping final.

The ex-popstar left jail in Vietnam on Tuesday, and flew to Thailand to see his fans there, but was refused entry by immigration officials. After suffering a serious 'mild heart attack', he remembered his love of horses, and decided to fly to HK instead of returning to the UK, where he would probably be stoned to death by crowds.

It wasn't known whether or not he would be allowed to enter Hong Kong territory, but, said Glitter:

"Ar really like horses. Ar like the way they're hung. Ar really wanna go to this showjumping event to see 'em runnin' an' jumpin' an' that."

The bearded Glitter was a shadow of the star that graced stages all over the world in the 1970s, shortly before his rapid demise into paedophilia. He said:

"Ar nevva done nuffin!" *

* For Americans and idiots Ar = I

UPDATE: Flea-bitten Glitter was later refused entry into the Chinese colony after it was revealed he planned to distribute 5,000 free copies of his new single Bend Over, Son at the Nagfest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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