Written by John Price
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Topics: Aliens, Crime

Monday, 24 May 2004

image for Aliens blamed for rise in Animal Gun Crime
The Good Old Days

Earth - Scientists worldwide have found evidence that extra terrestrials may be the source of the significant increase in gun crime among animals.
S.E.T.I. yesterday announced that they had found evidence that aliens from other worlds were in fact enticing animals to use guns to 'overthrow' their human slave drivers.

The main points of the press conference were;

  • Gun Crime in household pets (such as Dogs) had risen by an astonishing 3500% in the United States alone
  • A few land mammals were mutating hands much like human hands in order to be able to carry guns
  • Subliminal messages were being transmitted through television stations worldwide. These messages were shown on Big Brother
  • These things were all in advance of a main Alien Invasion of Earth (much like scenes from 'Independence Day', except with very large kangaroos)

World leaders yesterday denounced the finding as ludicrous. President Bush himself told The Spoof "I think it's great that animals are learning new skills..."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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