Turkeys have been conflicted recently in a battle between their long held secular, militarist traditions and recently elected more religious leaders and their liberal allies. The spiritual gurus of the latest ascendancy have compromised with the rival factions and have renounced the Thanksgiving grace:
"How can we thanks God for the slaughter of thousands of our country birds?!" asked Turkey spokesfowl Lotta Feathers. When asked why the Turkeys have taken a more liberal stand on pornography, Ms Feathers struggled to explain:
"If they stop killing our kind to thank God for the fact that their kind didn't die... then we really don't care if they want to see their species bare assed. If we can keep our feathers...and our lives...,who gives a bird poop if they want to display their uglies to each other!?"