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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Survivorman Eaten by Large Clam
"I saw the whole fing guv. There I was just swimmin' around and lo this great clam eats the bloke!"

Quebec, Canada (IPP) - Quebec authorities report that Survivorman star, Les Stroud, was eaten by a large clam on Cocos Island in the Eastern Pacific Ocean.

A spokesman for Les Stroud stated that the star of "Survivorman" was cooking a large clam over a fire on Cocos Island when a second nearby clam which was still alive swallowed the popular Television star.

Luckily for Les he had his harmonica in his pocket and he played some dissonant tones (large clams have an aversion for dissonant tones) and the clam immediately opened up and Les was able to walk away unharmed.

When Stroud's spokesman was pressed for more information he seemed to clam up but finally relented and went on to disclose how information on this event had reached him so quickly. He told reporters that some folks had disguised themselves as shrubbery and had been following Survivorman on the Island so as to make sure that everything about the show was on the up and up. Last year Bear Grylls who is the star of "Man Vs Wild" was accused of sleeping in hotels during times when he was supposed to be roughing it in the wild. The folks trailing Survivorman were simply trying to avoid a similar scenario.

Survivorman's spokesman was asked if the people following Les would have intervened in case Les got himself in a serious jam and he said he was not sure if they would but added that if it was a life or death situation that they would have no choice but to jump in and help.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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