When Russian War Lord Vladdie Putin witnessed the bellicose drum display at the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics, he called Moscow and ordered the invasion of Georgia.
Putin is said to have texted his generals: "These Chinese have just put the worwd on notice that they are unified and powewfuw and technowogicawy supewiow. We must show them that we can make waw on civiwians as effectivewy as the Amewicans. Invade Geowgia!"
Russian generals, never known for their geographic astuteness, unleashed a savage attack on the former Soviet republic of Georgia.
When Putin found out that his planned attack on Atlanta, Georgia, last site of a US summer Olympics, was botched, he was livid: "I've drweamt of the buwning of Atwanta ever since I saw Gone with the Wind and that idiot Bush told people that he wooked into my souw. Now I'm stuck in a quagmiwe on the Caspian Sea and wiw wook as stupid as Bush in Iwaq!"