'ROLLING STONIES RAG' EXCLUSIVE! Read it or weep tonight, because you'll be stupid about the World of Rock, Baaaaaby, if you pass us by bubalas! Ask Howie S.!
After an initial whirlwind of enthusiasm, especially after his "Ich Bin Ein Berliner" speech in front of 200,000 Krautheads, the Democratic Party's hopeful, Barack Obama, is hanging up his guitar, even though he cannot play the guitar! Sure, he attracted a bunch of Krauts, even some Nazis, so old that one was heard to say, "Wunderbar, der Führer took a needed vacation and has a great tan. Und, I like zat modern hairshtyle, like zos Africanische-Americans, you know. He eefen raises his arm like der Führer. He must be za real Führer, Karlputz! Yah!? Und, do you remember vich arm? Ah, he must be za Führer. Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Oh, vee are not allowed to say zat, anymore. I forget! Dat vas caca about za bunker suicide. But, vy doesn't he speak German? Ah, he vants to be a show off in English; he's such a guy! But he is now schwarz? [black?] Vee thought he did not like za blacks??? Go figure!"
Back to the rock scene. Our rag has it that the dude Obama is feeling too much...like ya know...exposure...and is becoming a charicature of the real rock people. So, it's great that's he cuttin' out of the music scene. Man, I don't wanna hear him at a gig! Imagine, a freakin' band, the O-Bama Crats! What does that mean? I mean we all know immediately what any group is like by its name, like The Chemical Brothers, Boston Cream Pie, Crack-Up, Pussy Girls, Wang-Wang, Bang-Bang, Honor-Me Boys, and Trunkin' Junkin' Black Girls. But O-Bamna Crats? Do they think we vote? Heck no;! no choice this round in 2008, man! Dead guy MacCrane or whatever. He's about dead at 71. Heck, my grandma and grandpa were stone cold by 69. And, this guy's gonna stay alive with Putin a shootin'? Gimmee a break!
Michelle, she's the one who done this thing to mess up the rock scene. Glad Barack is not a sock and has retracted that mean band. That's what we say at Rolling Stonies Rag! And, you get it first from us. We are, also, on the Net with pics and music links at www.RollingStoniesRag.com.
Hey, this dude Obama is still gettin' a tan in Hawaii? What does that mean for a black guy? And, the Russkies have almost wiped out Georgia? Heck, I really like that Atlanta scene. Would sure miss it! Where is the dude on this? Obama speak up! And, Putin is screwing up the studio time in that Tblisi place with those troops right nearby. Get out man! Let Georgian Rock live! Hey, anybody every hear any Georgian Rock? If a reader has, call me at my number, known to all in the rock scene. Is Georgian Rock cool? I gotta know, man!
Gotta go and see a gig of the Mumbo Mumbai, a reggae-heavy metal rock-country-Olivia Newton-John thing comin' on bigtime!
Anyway, no more Obama band. No more crap from politicos!
Writen by Gary "Gay" Frisky (He likes to feel you up!)
© 2008 Rolling Stonies Rag