Fox Trot, Idaho - John McCain used a routine campaign stop while stumping in Idaho, in the town of Spudnik, to drop a bombshell. The bombshell in this case happens to be Paris Hilton, now officially John McCains running mate.
"It was a tough decision, coming down to a shortlist including J.K.Rowling, Miley Cyrus, and Dan Quayle," said McCain, "But Paris' had an energy policy and we needed that desparately." Paris then joined McCain on stage, clad in a black french bikini, the audience cheered wildly.
"Thanks wrinkly skinned white haired dude, I'll take it from here," replied Hilton, "I have more than just an energy policy, I also have a policy for Iraq, Iran, Afganistan and Israel. Its called "take care of your own crap, were out of here!"
"Now Paris that's not exact..." started McCain, but he was interupted by the loud cheering and applause of the crowd. Paris continued to ignore McCain, "When I'm President, after the wrinkly white haired guy dies, I'll make sure we have only the best for our armed forces. I'll make it my goal to satisfy each and every GI."
Hilton then went on to outline her economic policy after the wrinkly white haired guy passes on. "Hilton hotels for everyone!" shrieked Hilton to the delite of the crowd.
A McCain spokesperson tried to play down the apparent disparate agenda of the two running mates, saying, "John McCain understands the need for a diverse view on different policies, it doesn't mean the wrinkly white haired guy is out of touch with reality."