Written by Steddyeddy
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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Records broken and barriers overcome at Olympics
The English 4x4 cycling team expect a medal

A couple of days into the Olympics, and despite the impression given by the Chinese authorities that they are a bunch of oppressive old dictators frightened by democracy, things appear to be going extraordinarily well, or in the case of the Americans and Australians, swimmingly well.

During the opening days of the games, several records were smashed and barriers came tumbling down.

It would appear that on the second day of the games, the Chinese authorities completely smashed the records of the 'Tibetan Democratic Movement' at their offices in downtown Beijing. They had to break down barriers in the hall of the organisation's offices to gain entry to the filing cabinets holding the records.

Government spokesman Won Hung Lo said:

"I am very sorry. But while the eyes of the world are on China, we can't have these troublemakers making, er, trouble.

"We don't mind them phoning in an order for a number 11 with fried rice and spare ribs on the side, but democracy is, as your Robert Mugabe would say, totally forbidden.

"If they want to complain, well, tough really. It's bad enough that the visiting world's journalists expect press and internet freedom in order to file their reports from the games, without some jumped-up bunch of people expecting their own democratic freedom on top of it.

"We have a people to oppress, and just because some international gaming competition or other comes to China, doesn't mean we will drop everything just to appear nice and fluffy, which oc course we are, because our glorious President Zitts Onnface says so."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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