Written by Susie Q
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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Recession hits doughnut business, cops distraught!
Cop - Donut = Sadness

A big blow was delivered to the public today after Dunkan's Donuts and Kirsty's Kreme announced they will be closing all their premises worldwide because of the recession and rising prices of cream and icing.

A spokesman for Kirsty's Kreme, who's called Krispy Pete coincidentally, told us, "It's true we are going out of business, we have been going downhill for a while, and although we really do appreciate the police force worldwide for all their custom, we cannot rely solely on that".

Both companies have said that their staff will receive a generous redundancy package which could amount up to 200 doughtnuts and 100 cups of coffee for some lucky employees.

Police Chief Sgt. Dick Head has expressed extreme sadness at this news on behalf of himself and his fellow colleagues at a press conference today where he could not hold back his tears as he broke the news.

Police worldwide will be having a minutes silence on the day of closure which will be the 1st of September.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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