Manila, Philippines - (Extraterrestrial Mess): Aviation inspectors are probing reports that a menacing UFO which destroyed the Rev Sun Myung Moon's helicopter last weekend has struck again causing a giant hole in the fuselage of a Melbourne bound Quaintarse Airways jumbo.
Moon, his family, minders and crew parachuted to safety last Saturday after the craft's mid-air attack smashed their Sikorsky S-92 over Gapyeong, 25 miles east of Seoul after an apparently unsuccessful attempt to 'mate' with the chopper via a sinister alien proboscis.
Today that UFO is being sought after the Boeing 747-400 made an emergency landing in Manila following a huge bang moments after the alien craft homed in on the Australian plane.
"Strewth," Captain Roger Wallaby said to reporters, "the bang was so loud we thought at first is must be some Mile High Club shenanigans in the First Class bathroom.
"Then I saw the UFO speeding away. OMFG. OMFG"
The impact destroyed flooring in Economy, ripped apart the cargo section and pulverised parts of the ceiling in First Class.
Spookily enough the Boeing jumbo has the name Spirit of Australia etched in large lettering on its side.
Investigators think this could be why the UFO struck, perhaps mistaking it for its own Mothership just as with the Unification Church's chopper last weekend.
"But why these alien motherfuckers would want to mate with their own Motherships at 29,000 feet is beyond us at the moment," an airport authroity source said today.