Australia - (Holy Ass Mess): The Pope has issued dire warnings about the dangers of soul food.
Spiritual desserts such as Angel Delight, ho cake, fairy cakes, angel cakes and devils on whorseback are destroying human morel fiber, Pop Bennydick said today.
His stark words also slammed demonic fodder such as pokeweed potlikker, devilled kidneys and homily grits which he said could never replace reliable Vatican potboilers such as humble pie.
"I didn't get ver I am today by gorging on manna from heaven," Joe Ratzinger eulogised, "oh no.
"In my youth ve ate ze true gritz.
"Zat memory still brings up all kinds of zings for me today."