Written by Clifford Rutley
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Sunday, 20 July 2008

image for Mystery: Global Warming Scaremongers Vanish!
You're Next Hippy!

The FBI, CIA, MI5, James Bond and many other crime, investigation and intelligence organisations have had their work cut out for them this week, as fake tax pushing so called enviro-MENTAL-ists have started to disappear.

The first to go was Al Gore, who disappeared from his bed in the middle of the night, leaving his wife all upset. Investigators searched his huge mansion, which uses as much energy in a month as 100+ normal homes in a year, but found nothing but a few stray branches and leaves on their mink skin and fox puppy fur carpets.

Then David De Rothschild disappeared whilst on a walk through a hippy wig wham. Nothing remained but a few vines and some puddles of sap. And then there are the multitudes of lesser well known carbon tax pushers who have started to dry up almost as fast as their evidence that man is causing climate change by putting out the life giving gas called carbon dioxide that plants breath and turn into food and oxygen.

Some have suggested that all the various plants and trees of this planet have seen these people as imminent threats to their future survival, as they all need carbon dioxide to breathe and grow more luscious and more bountiful. Therefore, they have started grabbing all of these people and extracting the carbon from their useless misguided, brainless do-gooding bodies instead - which seems a fitting end to such hypocrites who pretend to be saving the planet, by taxing one of the essential elements for life. It seems that Mother Nature herself has acted to rid us all of these nutters, once and for all.

Oh Gaia Earth spirit, we thank you for this blessing!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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