Written by Chuck Barber
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Europe

Friday, 21 May 2004

(Helsinki) According to reports emerging from the frozen north of Europe, a new god has arisen, calling for all to worship him.

Rumors of the new god, Krandar, were first heard in the area inland from Narvik, Norway in the area between Narvik and Kiruna in Sweden. In the months since the rumors started they have spread through the north, supposedly carried by Laplanders as they migrate with their reindeer herds.

As far East and North as Kirkenes, Norway, churches are standing empty as snowshoe clad worshippers skip Sunday services and join together on Tuesdays to celebrate the bounty brought by Krandar.

Drawing on the Norse tradition, Krandar speaks of a lost history of seeking and adventure. A history which led horn-hatted, ravening Norsemen on voyages of plunder and discovery which encompassed all of Europe and led on to Asia and North America.

Apparently rejecting violence, Krandar substitutes the arts for war, and speaks of the rich artistic past of the Northlanders, of gold work as fine as any seen in the medieval world and ships, the likes of which still amaze the modern world.

Though virtually unknown below the Narvik - Kiruna - Sodankyia line, Krandar is building a sizeable following above it.

Lorcas Tomel -Jeddak of Kemi Province in Finland said he was not concerned. "I have been to visitations where Krandar appeared and though awe inspiring he seems patient with humans and our frailties."

Make Chuck Barber's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

8 5 12 6

Go to top