Written by Arthur Pint
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Wednesday, 16 July 2008

image for Tony In Tears Because The Middle East Doesn't Like Him
"Fuck me, I need a new ending now..."

Tony Blair, self-appointed 'peace envoy' to the Middle East, was today close to tears as it was revealed that his planned trip to Gaza has been cancelled due to a security threat against him.

"I just don't understand why they don't like me", the former PM blubbed. I've got a nice suit, a cheery smile and a well-controlled, condescending manner and just can't understand why it doesn't win them over.

Mr Blair continued: "I'm trying to finish my autobiography at the moment, but it ends with me leaving number 10 after being ousted by that fuckwit Brown. My publisher thought it might be a good idea to get a happy ending by being a nice guy travelling the globe doing nice things for those less fortunate than myself."

But, it seems that following Mr Blair's part in the invasions of Afghanistan and Iran, and responsibility for the deaths of thousands of innocents, his plans for a happy ending might be thwarted by those in the Middle East who have a memory longer than the past 6 months.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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