Written by Gary Diamond
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Topics: Poo, moon

Saturday, 12 July 2008

image for Seth MacFarlane To Colorize The Moon Using Human Feces
Bang. Zoom. Shit to the moon!

Seth MacFarlane has never been a man to take himself too seriously. The 34-year-old Family Guy creator and voice actor enjoys lampooning popular culture so much, he's now planning to take his satirical and scatalogical blend of humour to new extremes: by colourizing the moon using only human feces.

We caught up with the man himself outside Fox production studios for a timely explanation of why he will be using a joke from a previous Family Guy episode - Ted Danson colorizing the moon as a gift to all mankind - as the basis for this bizarre folly.

"Well, I was halfway through a bottle of whiskey and the television was on, as ever. I was drafting some ideas for a couple of new episodes when I saw a news report on CNN about a sewer system overflowing in Manhattan. Amused, I flicked over to Sky Movies and noticed that Apollo 13 was playing. Remembering my old joke, I thought I could solve two problems - excess human waste and light pollution in the night sky."

When the issue of moon real estate was brought to his attention, the ever-chipper MacFarlane grinned and explained just how committed to the project he had become.

"That crossed my mind. I am currently advising my attorneys to buy out any and all people who have a stake in moon acres, with a very generous settlement if need be. As soon as I own a significant portion of the moon, the project - on which I will be liasing with NASA and the International Space Station directors - can get underway."

It was pointed out that it would take a huge quantity of human waste to completely cover the moon and that the idea seemed like a practical joke gone too far, but Seth pressed on regardless, showing the kind of fanatical devotion to toilet humour that ensures his show's continuing success.

"While I accept that a lot of people cannot appreciate the magnitude of my creative vision on this issue, it is important that I become known for something more than Family Guy. It may take many years and millions of dollars to see my project through to completion but I am willing to make that sacrifice."

Pressed for time, Spoof was unable to pose any more questions. Mr MacFarlane may yet be known as 'the guy who shit all over the moon'. If this comes to pass, the night sky will never be the same again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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