May 19, 2004 The United States of America looks like it is going to be put under full F.E.M.A controlled marshal law, with full Red Alert status after a high priority national 'treat' occurred today.
Mr. Bush's 'word man', Mr Karl Rove (right), has come down with a permanent case of amnesia this morning after falling and bumping his head on a copy of the phased out U.S constitution.
Telly prompter reader Mr. Bush, having heard about this accident today, started waving his hands about furiously making 'charades' type gestures to his staff, trying to get them, to get him an immediate replacement 'word man', to put words back into his mouth.
A global search for a musician called "Meat Loaf" had begun after lunch, in a bid to find this fellow that once or twice wrote; "You took the word's right out of my mouth".
An avid player of the game of ‘charades', this reporter can now report that Mr. Bush's recent hand signals on national television, suggest he was anxious to have Mr Loaf put some words back into 'his' mouth.
Attorney general John Ashcroft (picture left) said today, using his own ability to speak for himself; "I've been wanting to lock down the country with my post 9/11 laws called the 'Patriot Act'. Now that Mr. Bush's current 'word man' has fallen ill, my chance is near. But I'll first have to make sure that Mr. Loaf is never found. I'll give Tom (Ridge) a call."
Mr. Bush using the horned hand devil signal, (picture middle) frantically waved his right arm around for an hour and a half in an attempt to attract the attention of Mr. Loaf on Reuters news channel today.
If anyone knows the were abouts of Mr. Loaf, could they please get him to contact the White House ASAP.