Russia cannot replace its dead and so officials in the former Soviet Union have been trying to remedy the situation with government initiatives.
Vladimir "Cupid" Putin declared 2008 as the Year of the Reproductive Who-Ha. September 12 was named Dasvawho Ha Day to stimulate the national sex life. Now July 8th has been proclaimed DasVa Screwin DaPark Day.
Specially constructed park benches manufactured by Cuban affiliate Fidel Castro Convertible have been installed throughout Russia's parks. The unique benches fold out into a twin size bed to help facilitate the celebration of Screwin daPark day.
Government observers' initial evaluations rated the initiative a moderate success. Many comrades still cannot have an erection without Communist Party approval according to sources at the Health Ministry. The most active bench was the one in the government park near the offices of New President DM Medvedev and his godfather Vladimir Putin.
Crowds gathered to watch the sexy hijinks that Vlad and D usually reserve for behind closed office doors.
Reporters for Russian newspapers and media outlets all agreed that V's"Whose your god daddy?" was the highlight of the Screwin festival.