Written by victor nicholas
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Wednesday, 9 July 2008

image for Global Warming Linked to Central Heating
Nice and warm inside

Statistics linking global warming to increased carbon emissions over the last century were debunked today by Rutgers scientist Dr. Tolya So who revealed that "global temperatures recorded over the last one hundred years were taken indoors and not outside as previously assumed."

Left-wing pinkos, Gore disciples and weak-minded people everywhere are stunned to hear such an obvious explanation for the worldwide fear inspired by the threat of global warming.

Non-Swimmers living in low lying areas of Florida and Polar bears contacted in Northern Canada were particularly relieved to hear the news.

"Over the last one-hundred years we have seen a remarkable increase in the use of central heating and expectations for indoor thermal comfort worldwide. It is not surprising that indoor temperatures have risen over the last century globally. People no longer have to wear sweaters and put wood or coal on the fire in northern climates. It's a lot more convenient than it used to be and certainly more comfortable."

"To say that this is global warming is simply overstating the case. More properly it is a case of keeping warmer globally indoors but certainly not at the expense of the planet. Keep the doors and windows closed while the furnace is on is what I say."

"As scientists we are surprised that this error has been egregiously misrepresented for so long and by so many causing fear and consternation among those who are afraid and concerned by nature."

Don't quote me on this but my grandmother used to say "Some people just need a reason to be the way they are."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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