Written by Clifford Rutley
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Topics: BBC, 9/11, Conspiracy, asshole

Monday, 7 July 2008

image for 'Assholes For Lies' Demands No Further Investigation Into 911
Asshole For Lies Activists Being Activists On The Streets

911 debunking group Assholes For Lies were shocked by the BBC's latest hit peace of a documentary 'The Conspiracy Files - 911 The Third Tower', which aired on BBC2 on Sunday night.

'This is the worst bit of lying we've seen the BBC do,' founding member, Brian Pillock said. 'We expected a better cover story and more shameful caricature assassination of 911 truth activists, but this documentary actually made them look like real professional people, such as 'Professor' Stephen Jones. It even mentioned the professional body of Architects and Scholars for 911 Truth! We can't have this!! It makes it hard for assholes like ourselves to easily portray anyone who questions the official government lies as nothing more than wacky conspiracy theorists.'

We asked Brian about the point where the documentary showed the famous live BBC news clip, where they reported building seven had collapsed, when it was still standing behind the reporter who was reporting it.

'That was the worst part of all. Up to now, it was easy to just say it was green screen trickery by people who knew how to use video editing software, but this was the actual BBC admitting that it was real! What a travesty that was! Now millions more people have woken up to the lies we told on 911.'

'So,' we then asked. 'Why do you defend the lies so much?'

'It's simple, 19 hijackers taking over the planes and crashing them into the towers is a lot more comforting than what these truthers are telling us. I mean, we all know the government are idiots, but to believe that they are idiots because they are compartmentalised puppets of a secret evil world government, who controls them like minions, is a lot more horrifying. I must defend 911 lies; otherwise I might start wetting my bed at night again, like when I was five. I must believe that the enemies are simply turban wearing muslin nutters and nothing is hidden and Osama Bin Laden wasn't a CIA operative and our government didn't actually create Al Queda in the late seventies in Afghanistan and aren't using them to currently attack Iran, as so many CIA documents and news reports prove. I must do this because, underneath this fake hard man exterior, I am a weak small minded Neanderhal girl.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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