The African TV talent show Zimbabwe's Got Talent has been won by the crackpot out-of-control dictator Dr Robert Mugabe.
Mugabe won the contest by a landslide after he polled 108% of the 20 million votes cast, with his incredibly stirring rendition of the old Gary Glitter hit I'm The Leader Of The Gang (I Am).
Dr Mugabe's rivals in the competition were not up to the standard of the 84-year-old leader, and the only other serious contender, a dancing dog called N'Gin, had his paws mysteriously hacked-off backstage before the final round began.
N'Gin's owner and former partner, Kate, is missing.
Other contestants in the show complained that the whole competition was fixed so that Dr Mugabe would win, but international inspectors say that there is no evidence to support this.