(Lisburn, Ireland) Police in Portadown have arrested Angolan vice-president Roberta Mugabe in connection with the disappearance ten minutes ago, of Mandy, the daughter of British chip production company director Jon McCain, who might also run for the White House.
Mandy went missing when her gluttonous dad and his wife, Kath, went for a suppertime pint in the Tapas and Dragon Pub in Lisburn, with Senora Mugabe sitting next door in the launderette, whitewashing her dirty laundry.
The 4-year-old little girl can easily be spotted as she has a birth mark of Africa on her arse.
If any Spoof readers should see her, please ring Inspector Barack Murat of Portadown Police on 1-900-222-2222, and ask for his secretary Dulcima Whitebreast. Miss Whitebreast will take down your details and enter them in a huge dossier she keeps on suspects.
LATEST NEWSFLASH: Mandy was found to be fictitious at 21.23 GMT. Panic over.