Written by Fish
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Wednesday, 2 July 2008

image for Condoleeza Rice Gives Update On Pending 08/08/08 Calamity
38 More Days

Philadelphia PA -- Condoleeza Rice abruptly left a security conference here today drenched in tears. The conference was between the NSA, FBI, DHS and other agencies about the catastrophic space alien invasion expected 08/08/08 at precisely 08:08:08 Greenwich Mean Time.

The Secretary of State was in the meeting and suddenly shouted "I just can't take this anymore. I quit." Ms. Rice then quickly gathered her papers and left, biting her trembling lip. She was kind enough to give more information to TheSpoof.com after calming down a little.

"I quit my job today and you should too, it's over. There is no hope. We are all going to be killed by space aliens in 38 days!" said Ms. Rice. "They are going to eat us. We have their cookbook and we are the main course. They are going to turn us into Big Macs. Their leader is Osama bin Spaghettios and he's insane."

Ms. Rice did have a few minor suggestions that she shared.

"Everyone should try to lose weight. The aliens will eat the fat people first. Also, try to make yourself look older. They would rather eat kids and younger adults. Otherwise, there is no advice. Just enjoy these last few weeks. I'm going to the beach tomorrow and also smoking a little weed."

Ms. Rice then slipped into a waiting limo with one last cryptic statement:

"The past is gone. I will give one final warning before the inevitable Collapse later this month. Keep looking at the skies in Wales."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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