Praia da Luz - (Arguido Mess): Investigators in the Maddie McCann case have played a blinder.
Thirteen months of intense cooperation with European police counterparts has produced a massive dossier.
This shows 99% of A-List celebs and public figures who were roped into what UK TV broadcasters repeatedly called "a Princess Diana-style media circus" are crooks.
"We know who masterminded the entire spectacle," a Praia da Luz source said today.
"And we're very grateful for all the derision heaped upon us by UK tabloids because it led us to one helluva cover-up ring involved in spreading mind-crap like the EU Treaty."
The remarks follow reports that two of the three official suspects will soon be exonerated after pulling in some £4 million in PR funds to set the agenda in the police's investigation of their evidence.
Robert Murat is 44.