Written by Kent Pete
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Topics: eBay

Sunday, 29 June 2008

image for Ebay Baby
Careful son, that's a fucking sword mate.

Authorities in Bavaria, southern Germany, have taken a two year-old boy into care after his parents offered him for sale on eBay supposedly because they believed he was "pure evil".

Child A was advertised as a "nearly-new baby" with a starting price of one euro (£0.80, 1.00 Euros).

Police have launched an investigation into possible child-trafficking by the infant's father, 24, and mother, 23.

The mother told our reporter: "Das Baby ist so schlecht. Ich bin sehr sehr erschrocken. Würde Sie, etwas Brustmilch großer Junge kriegen mögen." Our German speaking translator is on hoiliday at present but our editor believes the word 'Brustmilch' to be an irregular verb.

The press in Germany have claimed that the baby was placed on eBay because the parents had not anticipated the noise and mess that a small child could make. It has also been suggested that they believed the child to be related to Satan, Lord of the Dark.

A spokesman from eBay said that the tot had been for sale for at least three weeks.

"At first we thought it was a prank. It was so difficult to classify the toddler as it is not an item that is auctioned very often. When we eventually put it in the 'Home and Garden' section bids went through the roof reaching up to £2000 (2,513.80 Euros) "

Anna Brandt from the Child protection project attempting to foster Child A said yesterday,

"Ordinarily finding a couple to foster would be easy. However it must be said that in 30 years of working within the paediatric field I have never met a child like this one. I must be honest and say he is not very pleasant. Three members of staff have gone missing since his arrival. I'm sure there is no connection but if nobody comes forward by midnight tonight he is going back on eBay"

Bids are likely to start at around £30 (37.70 Euros)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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