Written by Natowsky
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 29 June 2008

image for Spic on C-SPAN? - Obama Denies Racial Slurs About Latinos
Obama encourages border crossings. Shown is happy illegal, Pedro Hernandez, celebrating his new homeland

"Sure, I lost the Latino vote to Hillary in the primaries, but that doesn't mean I hold a grudge against my American friends of various Spanish origins." So said an angry Barack Obama when interviewd by John Williams of NBC News. "I am not a racist against the salsa folks and ask any Juan and you'll know right away, that I love all Latinos, even the massive numbers of them in prison.

Dammit (bleep), I hate the shit (bleep) thrown at me by that whitey Republican camp, which is headed by that senile, has been Senator, John McCain. Sure, he spent over 5 years in a tiger cage in Nam, but he's a freakin' nobody, now. That guy will die in office and who's his VP? If dumb Americans vote him in, we are looking for failure as a nation. Just wait, John, in a short while, I'll name my running mate and the country will go Wow! That's called leadership, my honky friend."

Clearly, this Presidential contest is turning into a nasty war of words between Obama and McCain, when all polls show that both are running neck and neck.

'WE KNOW DC' has followed the Obama team from city to city, where the half black, half white Democratic Party candidate has talked to a range of Latinos, from Puerto Ricans in Puerto Rico, itself, to PRs in New York City, and to Mexican-Americans and illegals everywhere where Obama has made his pitch. We present some representative comments on Obama's pleas for the Latino vote.

"Hey, I'm a salsa guy with tortilla chips and on the dance floor. Michelle and I do a mean salsa! And, she wears a short skirt, almost up to her privates!"

"Heck no! I will not allow a 2,000 mile wall to block friendly Mexicans crossing the border. It's not right and it's an eyesore. If anything goes up I will be a Reagan and say, 'Uncle Sam, tear down this wall!' And, I will have border guards only using blanks. Cross the freakin' border without fear!"

"Go out and vote for Obama. Even if you are illegal, the League of Women Voters is brain dead and you can cast your vote, legal or illegal. What a deal!"

"As a minority, I relate to fellow minorities, so keep crossing and always make a 'Run For The Border!' Even Taco Bell wants you here, my amigos!"

"And, remember, spic is not in my vocabulary. Yes, Michelle says spics are greasy pigs, but I've shut her up and I've never called any Latino a spic. Michelle is now under control, the bitch!"

"And, I've been to Cancun and Mazatlan. Fine cities, clean and relaxing. You Chicanos know how to keep it clean. But Mexico City is a dump. So, if I'm elected, the U.S. will pour money into a cleanup of this scumbag city! That's Obama for you. So, you know for whom you'll cast your vote!"

"And, I will eliminate all barrios and make them all a green paradise, everywhere. Yes, many roses will grow in Spanish Harlems. You just need to trust SeƱor Ombama, your friend!"

"Hey, I love those Spanish signs everywhere in the U.S. And, products in the supermarket labelled with Latino jive helps me learn your language! Cool!"

"I am with you! Let' triunfo de s junto en noviembre! [Let's Win Together in November!]

Reported by Wilber Frankoski Growcock
Copyright: We Know DC 2008

Make Natowsky's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 5?

3 5 23 8

Go to top