Former British Prime Minister, and Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher, has told her husband Denis that she is fed up of all the pussyfooting around in Afghanistan, and she is off to put a stop to it, and to bring an end to the conflict.
Denis, who died in 2003, didn't respond.
Mrs Thatcher is travelling to the region against the advice of the Foreign Office, who say the situation on the ground is "volatile". She has borrowed a tank from the military and will set off next Monday after she has completed 'the big shop' at Asda.
Mrs Thatcher was British Prime Minister between 1979 and 1990, and is skilled in the art of debate, something she will put to good use in the mountains where the Taliban hang out. She survived a cowardly attempt on her life at the Conservative Party Conference in Brighton in 1984, when the IRA planted a bomb in her handbag, but she negated the effects of the blast by sitting on the bomb.
Speaking to journalists outside her home this morning, she said:
"If you want anything said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."